Freak-Outs are common during the Planning Stage

So this will be my actual first post as opposed to the “here we go” I wrote about a month ago. Since that time I have gotten engaged and started to plan a wedding. I will spare everyone the details since I figure most people who will read this will already know how it happened. =)

I always knew planning a wedding would be a big ordeal, but sheesh I did not know how BIG of an ordeal it would be. Kurt and I are trying to have this wedding on a very small budget. When I say small I mean tiny, itty bitty, less than Suzanne Somers made from the Thighmaster this year, that small of a budget. Then when you consider the fact that I have two friends who spent two and three times as much on their weddings and THEY were on a budget it makes my head a little sweaty. I have become obsessed with finding DIY or DIT wedding ideas and ways to cut corners. But I still feel like I am trying to climb the hill of sand at the bottom of an hourglass. When I think I have gained a little bit I look up and see more sand has been added.

One great thing about all these neurosis is it has reminded me I can count of Kurt to support me no matter what. He has been very patient with me and has helped me when I had my mini freak outs. One such breakdown was me rattling off about 35 questions/doubts in a span of 10 minutes. “I don’t want “colors”, but what does that mean? Can I not have flowers that are all the same color?”, “What if everyone hates the food or wine we picked”, “What everyone thinks we are cheap for doing this at your parents place?”, and “What are we going to do about the people we CANT invite? Should we call them and give them a heads up? Should we ignore it and hope that they don’t notice? If we call them, what do we say?” and so forth.

I am sure these are not abnormal questions for a person who is planning a wedding on their own, but what makes them so scary is that no one but Kurt or I can answer these questions since it is OUR wedding. I know I need to just buck up and say “F-it…it is my wedding and if I want to have it in a barn on my fiancé’s (that is still funny to say) parents property then I will” But, that is a little scary, and what if it rains?